I Apologize if This Post Reaks of Bitterness

Something has been bothering me lately. Being the restless perfectionist who needs an answer for everything, I kept wrestling with it but could never put my thoughts into words. Until yesterday.

God has blessed me with a wonderful mother who regularly speaks truth into my life. While we were baking Christmas cookies yesterday, I told her what was on my mind.

"I'm so tired of the Christian world telling me that as soon as I am content, God will send me a man. It makes me mad. I don't think that's how it works."

She was confused, so I added, "You can't tell me that on the day we are born, God chooses 'the one' and we spend the rest of our lives waiting for that destiny. I think He knows who we will marry, but I don't think it's a magical dream scheme like that."

Maybe you can share in my frustration. Regardless of your gender, you might be mad too. Why? Because we've been lied to. By the world and by well-meaning Christians. A resounding sentiment is that somewhere out there, your soulmate waits. If you follow the world's agenda, you have to do anything and everything to find them. If you are a Christian, it depends on if you are a male or a female.

If you are a male, you pray and God magically leads you to 'the one.' A little bit of constructive wife-shopping at area churches or college ministries doesn't hurt. (If there are any potlucks where you can sample some of her cooking, all the better.) If you are female, you simply have to run around pretending to be content with your singleness. As soon as that happens, Mr. Right walks in.

LIES. Oh, so many lies. And I've believed them.

But my mom helped me process the truth I was fighting to verbalize. Somewhere in the midst of all that well-intended advice for singles, we lost sight of the best advice out there: We need to worship God for God.

I think that I am not alone when I say that I have sought Him for things other than Himself. At times, I have worshipped Jesus for the sole purpose of Him dumping buckets of fairy blessings upon my aching soul. I have read Jeremiah 29:11. Memorized it. Bought the bracelet. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future.'" That is a beautiful verse. But somewhere along the way, I took those words too far and turned worshipping God into worshipping his plan for my life. Instead of seeking his face, I sought the blessings I thought he promised me as part of his plan.

That, my dear friends, is idolatry. And it didn't hit me until yesterday. This whole dilemma with singleness and marriage isn't so much about contentment with God's plan. It's about how I treat His plan.

I've been told my whole life (truthfully) that God has a wonderful plan for me. He does. But the point isn't his plan. The point isn't me. The point is Jesus.

God says that he blots out our transgressions for his own sake (Isaiah 43:25). His biggest plan involves the salvation of the world. But even that isn't for us. He doesn't save us for us. He saves us for his own sake. God saves us for God.       

So at the end of the day, I don't need to worry if I am being content enough in my singleness. I don't even have to worry about Jesus' plan for my life. I simply need to sit at his feet and worship Him for who He is.

Worship God, not his plan.

       

 

Psalm 23

In elementary school, I was very fortunate to join several of my friends for "Release Time" on Wednesday mornings. Release Time was a designated hour every week that allowed for kids to be released from school for "religious" activities. (I very rarely use that word without quotations...more on that later.) It was during this hour that several kids in my group learned to memorize Psalm 23. We had these cool orange pocket Bibles that we read from and to this day, I still have the Psalm memorized (complete with all of the thy's and thou's found in the KJV.)

I recently stumbled across the Psalm again in my Bible reading and was struck by the phrase, "your rod and your staff, they comfort me." This had always bothered me, even in 5th grade when it was "thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me." Growing up, "the rod" was a method of discipline I had come to dread. Why, then, did David find comfort in it?

That is when I was reminded of an older post and what Christ has been showing me in regards to his discipline. Hebrews 12 so beautifully illustrates some powerful truths.

"God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness." (vs. 10)

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. " (vs. 11)

Discipline produces holiness, righteousness, and peace. Not only that, but it validates our relationship with God. (Because, "If you are not disciplined, then you are illegitimate children and not true sons." vs. 8) This is why both David and the writer of Hebrews urge us to take comfort in the rod of God's discipline. It is why the Bible repeatedly tells us to rejoice in suffering and persecution. It means that the Spirit is at work in us in order that Christ might become greater and we might become less. (John 3:30.)

Because of these truths, we should count ourselves both blessed and priviledged to be disciplined by Christ. It ultimately produces fruit in us and glorifies the only one to whom glory is due. We are drawn closer to Jesus as a result, and we can take comfort in His rod because it leads us to take comfort in him.


"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Late Bloomers

I've always been what many would call a "late bloomer." I didn't get to be a flower girl until I was almost almost old enough to be a bridesmaid. My dream of spending hot summers playing games with throngs of neighbor kids didn't come true until I was well into my teenage years. I've always looked upon these kinds of experiences with a hint of amusement. It wasn't until I read the story of Elizabeth in the book of Luke that I came to see that God has a special place in his heart for late bloomers like me.

We hear the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth every time Christmas rolls around. He was a priest; she was his wife. They had no children for many many years...and then along came John. I don't know about you, but sometimes after hearing a certain story told the same way at the same time each year, I find myself skimming over it in my own private reading. Thankfully, God kept me from doing that this time around.

Luke 1:5 sets the scene, "In the time of Herod King of Judea there was a priest named Zechariah, who belonged to the priestly division of Abijah; his wife Elizabeth was also a descendant of Aaron. Both of them were upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord's commandments and regulations blamelessly. But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren; and they were both well along in years."

You get the picture. One couple. Too old. No children. Oh how God loves to do the impossible!

"Once when Zecharaiah's division was on duty and he was serving as priest before God, he was chosen by lot, according to the custom of the priesthood, to go into the temple of the Lord and burn incense...There an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar...the angel said to him, "Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth for he will be great in the sight of the Lord." (Luke 1:8-9, 11, 13-14)

I'd like to point out a few things here. First, you may already know that having lots of children was a huge component of Elizabeth's culture at the time. It was part of a woman's identity, and to not have kids was a terrible thing...so terrible that many people thought it could be some kind of punishment for sin. The affect that this had on Elizabeth would be significantly greater than if she were living at the present time. Having children would have been one of her greatest desires. It seems almost unfair that God would deny of her of that wish. It is hard to reconcile the pain she felt with the love of a God who could grant her children in an instant. After all, her desire doesn't appear to be outright sinful.

Let us not forget that God loves saving the day. He had events perfectly orchestrated before Elizabeth was even born. She got her baby...just several years and miracle later. This resulted in God getting more glory--not anybody else.

Now I would like to shift gears to what appears to be a totally unrelated story. John 11 tells of how Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. A couple of lines in this passage just kill me because I think they are so powerful.

In John 11:32, it says, "When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said,' Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.'" How many times have we said the same thing? If you erase a few of the words in that statement and replace them with your own, you get something to the affect of, "Lord, if you had been here--if you had acted--this death/loss/pain wouldn't have happened." Jesus hears Mary's statement and is "deeply moved in spirit and troubled." (vs. 33.) Make no mistake, Jesus does feel our pain in these circumstances! He felt Elizabeth's pain when she suffered for not having any children, and he feels yours too.

The amazing thing is that this pain is not without purpose. A few verses later, right before Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead, he says, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" and turning to the Father, he continues later on, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." Right after that, he proves that God has indeed heard him by raising Lazarus from the dead.

The whole point I want to make here is that it was for God's greater glory that Lazarus had died. To be sure, Jesus could have healed him while he was still living, but he didn't. God could have given Elizabeth children while she was still young, but he didn't. Instead, he orchestrated events so that when everything was said and done, the only explanation could be the work of himself.

Oftentimes, this involves waiting and great faith on our part. Did you notice that in the story of Elizabeth and Zechariah, the angel spoke the words, "Your prayer has been heard"? We don't know if that prayer was spoken years before Zechariah entered the temple that day or if he was still praying it up until that moment. Whatever the case, Zechariah's faith in God prompted him to pray for a child. Likewise, Martha was the one who declared, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world." (John 11:27) In both of these examples, faith was present. Then came the waiting.

You may be experience a time of waiting right now. Maybe you are feeling a little bit like Elizabeth, with a whole list of desires that haven't been fulfilled. Maybe you are drowning in the aftermath of a tragedy like Mary and Martha. You think, "If only God would have acted, this wouldn't have happened." The thing to remember is that it is not an issue of why, but when.

Psalm 34:18 says, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." God is not slow in keeping his promises. When he says he'll save us, he will. It just becomes a matter of his perfect, impeccable timing and how he--not you, not anybody else--will get the greater glory in the end. You may appear to be a "late bloomer", but in God's eyes, you'll be right where you should be.